The Heart is a Funny Thing
by ICanReadYouLikeABook
Summary: Ichigo x Rukia - “Can’t you feel it, Rukia? It’s the dawn of a new era.” And so it was. Graduation had come, but there were still some things Ichigo Kurosaki needed to do.


**Title: **The Heart is a Funny Thing

**Summary: **[Ichigo x Rukia] _"Can't you feel it, Rukia? It's the dawn of a new era."_ And so it was. Graduation had come, but there were still some things Ichigo Kurosaki needed to do.

* * *

Ichigo Kurosaki hated goodbyes.

The way they felt – like someone who was taking something precious of yours and never giving it back. The way it looked – like misery and blind hope wrapped up in a broken social scene. The way it _tasted_ – like salty tears mixed with bitter regret. He hated all of it. Maybe that was why he insisted on protecting the ones he loved. It was easier. It was so much easier than saying goodbye.

His eyelids were heavy as he watched blue caps fall from the air like oversized confetti, bright and cheerful. He didn't get it. There was nothing cheerful about this. How could people be so ready to leave behind those desks they had scratched their marks on, those halls they had roamed, those people with faces who had bothered to remember your name? He let his eyes close for a quick moment before slowly taking in his surroundings again.

And then he saw her. And she looked as if her life was just beginning.

She walked over to him with a manila diploma and the prettiest smile he had ever seen. The end had come – _finally_ – and she couldn't have asked for a better conclusion. A high school education hadn't much value to her, but she got it anyways. You know- just in case. She applied to a couple colleges, too, and got in. You know- just in case. And she still hadn't bothered to pack up her junk and get back to the Soul Society. You know- just because.

It had nothing to do with him. It had everything to do with him.

"So…" Her eyes were warm with a strange tint of bliss.

"So…" His mouth was turned up into a smirk he didn't fully understand.

She tilted her head to the side and waved her diploma around like a conductor's baton. "Never thought I'd get this."

Neither did Ichigo. She could've been gone a long time ago, but she stuck around anyways. You know- _just because_. Yet, he couldn't see her in any other place. She had been there to save his life in the nick of time. She had been there to hand his ass to him, and then to teach him how to defend it. And then there were things soul reaper – unrelated. Things like pointless human rites and that insane place people called 'high school'.

She had been there when he flunked Health for being absent so much, and sat her ass down in summer school right next to him. She had been there to laugh her head off when he crashed the Driver's Ed car right into the side of a donut shop. She had been there to tie the bow on his tux when he got ready for prom, and politely took his picture as he posed with his date – some girl who had tried to steal his heart. Rukia didn't like her much – the girl, whatever her name was, hated animals, was opposed to violence, and had a fear of heights. What he had seen in her, she didn't know.

She still had that picture on her desk. He looked…unhappy, in a way.

"As if you need it," he told her.

They were walking slowly through the throng of graduates, parents and friends swarming together in a pool of bodies. Of course, they'd find their friends soon to with them congratulations, but for now, that could wait. It was just Rukia and Ichigo, and the rest of the world had ceased to exist.

"And you do?" she quipped. "There's a whole 'nother world ready to make you a full-time soul reaper as soon as you say the magic words."

However, she couldn't see him in a place like that. He had to be where _she _was, where this whole mess had started and his life had truly began. It seemed like he had _always _been there- to protect her when she was caught off-guard and to lend a hand when the spiritual pressure got a little too…pressuring. And then there were some places unrelated to magic and afterlife and all that stuff.

Ichigo had been there to hold back her hair when she had her first taste of beer at some stupid high school party she got invited to. He had been there to patiently listen to her drabble about some douche bag who had moved on to the next girl in a week. He had held her in the dark while she silently cried over that said douche bag and listened to her vows of never getting involved with stupid human boys again. He had taken her picture when she posed with her prom date in a dress that looked impossibly good. He had smiled and watched her dance all night, and had finally gotten the courage to ask her himself.

Ichigo Kurosaki didn't _dance_. Well, except for that night. That had been the only exception.

And now they were staring at each other, grinning like idiots who were in love and didn't even know it. Reality had failed to hit. Jealousy and passion were two emotions thy still couldn't come to grips with.

They had pushed past the crowds now, and were absent-mindedly heading towards the quieter side of town. The two of them walked alone, but together, while taking their time. There just wasn't enough to go around anymore. Time could no longer be wasted.

"I think I'll stay a substitute just a little while longer."

His mind was still drifting off to memories of prom, and how he had lay in bed all night, wondering why he didn't take her. He still remembered his shaky fingers as he pulled up the zipper of her dress, and how she had to stand on her toes in order to fumble with the bow on his tux. Those were nice memories- or, they would've been if he hadn't helped dress her up for someone else.

She playfully elbowed him in the side. "I guess some things never change."

No, that wasn't right. Everything had changed. Their lives were ending. Their lives were just starting to _begin_. And Ichigo knew.

"Can't you feel it, Rukia? It's the dawn of a new era."

And so it was.

"Maybe…maybe this time, things will be different," she mused. "Maybe I'll have less regrets."

"What have _you _ever regretted?"

They were crossing over the Onose River's bridge now, arms brushing and fingertips occasionally touching with each step. The sound of the rushing water underneath helped her think. She stopped and peered over the rail and studied the currents of grey and blue. Her eyes closed, and a light breeze tugged at her raven-black hair.

"Not jumping," she said so quietly, he almost asked her to repeat. "I should've jumped when I wanted to and not think twice about it. I should've just…done what I wanted to do, you know?"

He knew. He understood more than anyone else, really. There had been times where Ichigo lay awake at night, wondering what would've happened if things had turned out differently. If he had gotten he courage to ask her to prom, instead. If she had stayed in his closet just a little while longer instead of moving out. If he had manned up, stood his ground. Lived a little better.

_'Why didn't you ask her to prom?'_

_'Because I was scared.'_

_'Scared of what?'_

_'Losing her.'_

_'No. You were scared of losing yourself.' _

The heart is a funny thing. It tells you to do the damndest things without reason or caution. Slow thumps if you should do it in a little bit. Fast beats if you were on the edge, Crazy, erratic racing when the final moments of the clock were ticking down and it was now or never. That was another thing Ichigo hated- rational decisions. And his heart was just. So. _Irrational_. But how could he ever give in?

"Then what's next?"

She turned her back to face him and leaned against the railing, smiling that half-grin she always did when Ichigo asked a question he didn't know the answer to. But the answer- so simple! How could he not know that-

"I'm not sure."

It was true. Every word of it. There was that place of lost souls and death, where everyone was politically trying to get ahead. There was that world with life and promise, and all that shit you heard on the news about war and poverty and disease. If she could just disappear and not choose a side at all, she would. Immediately. Without question. Because trying to make things work between her and Ichigo was just too hard, and she had given up. If you lov-er, _respected_ someone, you let them go, right?

He moved to stand a little closer in front of her, because goodbyes were coming far too soon. Sure, they had the summer together before he went off to college, and she possibly could go with him. But what good did that do? It wasn't eternity. It wasn't enough. His heart, for some reason, was racing like a runaway train. The heart is a funny thing.

"I think I'm done with plans, too," he admitted. "Decisions are for idiots."

"Hey now! I resent that." She reached her hands up to push against his chest, but he easily cached her tiny wrists in his substantially larger grip. Her diploma tumbled out of her hand, rendered useless.

He had that crooked smile on that she rarely got to see. And when she did, life got a lot better, and nothing could ever harm her. Had she ever told him how much she missed it? She should one day. That'd make a good memory to hold on to.

He stepped a little closer, still locked on her wrists, and her small arms are the only thing between her. She wasn't for certain, but she swore to herself that she could feel his erratic heart thumping in his chest. Another breeze picked up her hair, and he could catch her scent of strawberries and some memory he couldn't really bring to mind. Oh yeah- home. She smelled like home. He moved a little closer, and he was, well…home.

This was easy. This was so much easier than making decisions or saying goodbye. Not that he would ever dare, you know- say goodbye to her. Was it even possible?

"I should've…done some things I'm starting to regret," he admitted gently.

His mouth was so close, she could almost taste it.

"I should've been there more often for you. Shoulda been a better friend."

His heart was so irregular, she could almost hear it.

"And I wish I had sucked less in the friendship department, but…you know I care about you, right?"

His wanting was so strong, she could almost _feel_ it.

"And I mean…Rukia, you're not even _listening_! What the hell're you staring at?"

That perfect mouth of his. But she would never tell.

He scoweled and tightened his grip, though it still remained gentle. "You want me to do this another time or something?" His voice was annoyed, impatient. She wondered why.

"I don't get it, Ichigo," she murmured, pressing her palms to the side of his face. "What are you waiting for?"

He…didn't really know. After all, that psychotic heart of his was screaming to hurry the hell up with this- whatever _this _was. What was the guy supposed to do, confess his undying love and affection? Too lame. Get on one knee and humble his self? Too much dignity. Decisions- he hated them. So he stopped planning and started…

Living. By pressing a chaste kiss on her lips.

Her eyes were liquid amethyst as she stared at him curiously. It was their first kiss together. And as long as they lived, they would always remember.

"Rukia…say something."

She just kind of smiled.

_'Why aren't you saying anything?'_

_'Because there are no words for this.'_

_'This?'_

_'You know- love.' _

_'So you found a word after all?'_

She kissed him again, forcefully and with purpose, because he needed to understand. He needed to feel her fear of letting go, and her acceptance of the things she could not change. She would never be able to change the way she felt about him, even when she was kicking his ass to the floor. His lips felt like rose petals, though she hadn't really expected anything else.

He was an idiot in her book, yet he was perfection. And perfection seemed pretty damn addicting, if you asked her. And perfection seeks company; he found his solace in the tiny girl pressing her back to the metal rail behind her and her fingertips to his smooth skin. This was new- then again, wasn't all of this? Everything was changing between them, yet everything had stayed the same. The love, the pain- it had always been there all along. They just had never known it.

But that was okay. It was clear that they were quickly figuring it out.

"Where do we go from here?" he whispered to her, pushing a strand of hair away from her face as he ran his lips across her cheek.

"I…don't know."

Their lives were over. Their lives had just begun. And in this life, maybe things would be different, and time would let them figure it all out.

_'Can't you feel it, Rukia? It's the dawn of a new era.' _

And so it was.

* * *

**A/N: **I missed you Bleach people so much, I had to write this. I had it on my hard drive for awhile, but I was just too nervous to upload it. Oh well. It's now or never, right? Please let me know what you liked/didn't like/completely detested. Your feedback is incredibly important to me, and can help me figure out whether this needs another chapter or not. It's meant to be a oneshot, but...you know. Some things change. Thanks for reading! (:

Oh, and thanks for all of you guys who voted on my profile poll! You have no idea how much it helps me.


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